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Stepfather doesn’t always know best. Mistakes stepfathers can avoid for a smooth transition to blended family.

Stepfather doesn’t always know best. Mistakes stepfathers can avoid for a smooth transition to blended family.
25 Ways to go from Stepfather to StepDad
Now on sale at Amazon.com. Click on the book cover to read more.

PLYMOUTH, MA…

Blended families have become more and more the norm. With that, many men take on the mantle of “stepfather” merely by saying “I do”—a daunting task if you have your own children, even more so if it means becoming an instant parent. While there’s an initial honeymoon period for blended families, there are traps new stepfathers can avoid to keep the family that is blended, splendid.

“I was 40 when I first got married. I had a pretty close relationship with my six nieces and nephews and got on extremely well with my now wife’s two kids, but getting married was a whole new ballgame,” said Joe D’Eramo, author of 25 Ways to go from Stepfather to StepDad. “What stepfathers have to realize is as big of a transition as this is for them, it’s bigger for the kids. So, you have to tread gently and avoid some common traps.”

According to D’Eramo, stepfathers can make the transition smoother by following a few basic guidelines in their approach. Those include:

  • Get over yourself – It’s human nature for stepfathers to think “I took on the raising of somebody else’s kids” and that some sort of congratulations is in order. Get over yourself. You can’t raise children thinking they owe you a debt of gratitude for marrying their mother.
  • Overcompensating – It’s really not your job to make up for the shortcomings of the biological father and be “Super Dad”. You are a co-parent and have a very important role. Do what you do and don’t worry about what you think your children’s biological father should be doing.
  • Follow your wife’s lead on house rules – There’s enough change when a stepfather moves in. Don’t try to reinvent the rules of the house right away. If the kids go to bed at 8, then they continue to go to bed at 8. Children of divorce have enough difficulty following the rules at two homes if they visit their biological father. Don’t make them learn two sets of rules at home. Think of your wife as the CEO of rules as they apply to the children and you are her closest and trusted advisor.
  • Bad mouthing their father – It should go without saying, but many stepfathers fall into the trap of badmouthing and complaining about the biological father in front of the kids. Just don’t do it. While more than a few fathers drop the ball, you only tarnish how they view you by saying bad things about their father.
  • Do not allow the children to disrespect their father – Conversely, it’s not uncommon for your stepchildren to want to vent about their father. You can let them up to a certain degree. If it becomes disrespectful, jump in and put a stop to it. Again, they may be justified in their complaints but you still want your children to respect all grownups. Let them vent until it crosses a line.
  • Be a parent not a pal – Perhaps the biggest mistake a stepfather can make is trying to be a buddy instead of a parent. Letting them stay up late, playing video games, letting them eat junk food and other things of that ilk may earn you a pall for the night. It won’t help when you’re trying to get them to take out the trash or do their homework. Children of divorce may not like it, but they crave structure. That’s something a parent does, not a buddy. Remember, they won’t say it, but they are counting on you for that structure.

Plymouth, Mass.-resident and step-parent of two Joe D’Eramo recently published a new e-book, 25 Ways to go from Stepfather to StepDad, to offers some helpful suggestions for soon-to-be or newly married men who are becoming husbands and fathers for the first time.

“When it comes to parenting, there really are no experts and all we have to go on is our experiences,” said D’Eramo, “What stepfathers need to remember that you, your wife and your stepchildren are all in this thing together. None of you have done it before. So don’t be afraid to talk as a family and ask for help. It’s amazing how many of those conversations have kept situations from escalating and further developed the relationships in the family.”

25 Ways to go from Stepfather to StepDad sells for $9.95 on Amazon as a Kindle book (Kindle also offers a free app that enables customers to read e-books on their PC). You can read more about the book and tips for stepfathers on the 25 Ways to go from Stepfather to StepDad Facebook page, http://www.facebook.com/mystepdad.

About HiRoad Communications:

Based in Plymouth, Massachusetts, HiRoad Communications is owned by freelance copywriter Joe D’Eramo. HiRoad generates copy for web content, marketing communications materials, PR pieces, articles, blogs, social media sites and more. For more information, visit www.hiroadcommunications.com or call 617-848-0848.

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My new e-book, 25 Ways to go from Stepfather to StepDad

25 Ways to go from Stepfather to StepDadHere’s the press release announcing my new e-book, 25 Ways to go from Stepfather to StepDad:

StepDad knows best. Plymouth, MA resident Joe D’Eramo authors “25 Ways to go from Stepfather to StepDad”.

DATELINE: PLYMOUTH, MA…

With blended families becoming more and more the norm, saying “I do” for many single men means becoming a husband and a father as well. Instantly. Plymouth, Mass.-resident and step-parent of two Joe D’Eramo recently published a new e-book, 25 Ways to go from Stepfather to StepDad, to offers some helpful suggestions for soon-to-be or newly married men who are becoming husbands and fathers for the first time.

“I was 40 when I first got married. I had a pretty close relationship with my six nieces and nephews and got on extremely well with my now wife’s two kids, getting married was a whole new ballgame,” said D’Eramo, a freelance copywriter. “The book talks about some of the things I did to smooth that transition, some of the things I wish I’d done, and some of the things I still work at.”

25 Ways to go from Stepfather to StepDad sells for $9.95 on Amazon as a Kindle book (Kindle also offers a free app that enables customers to read e-books on their PC).

Some of the topics and chapters in 25 Ways to go from Stepfather to StepDad include:

  • Following your spouse’s parenting lead.
  • Dealing with her ex.
  • “No, I’m his step…”
  • “Dad’s Day”
  • “Grandma/Grandpa? Nana/Papa? Sir or Ma’am?”
  • “It’s your turn, Coach.”
  • “StepDad! Pick up!”
  • “Respect all the parents”
  • “In-laws as allies”
  • “Hers and ours…Starting your own family”

All of the material covered in the book is based on D’Eramo’s experiences helping to raise his two stepchildren, a task that took on another dimension with the birth of his daughter nearly six years ago. 

“She’s just about the age when I met our son. It’s been kind of nice to see the movie from the beginning with this child, but it’s given me an entire new perspective on how my wife raised the older two as a single parent,” said D’Eramo. “With this book, I wanted to let other soon-to-be stepfather or current ones know you are not alone.”

Adds D’Eramo, “Not that I’ve mastered the art of parenting. Far from it. I don’t have a Ph.D. in anything. I’m a just a regular guy who embraced the challenge of being a stepfather and was rewarded with the most fulfilling experience of my life.”

In addition to 25 Ways to go from Stepfather to StepDad, D’Eramo, a Framingham State University graduate, also penned Recipes for the Roommate-Impaired, available on Amazon.com as a paperback.

Visit the 25 Ways to go from Stepfather to StepDad Facebook page, https://www.facebook.com/pages/25-Ways-to-go-from-Stepfather-to-StepDad/262404817174765, for more information.

About HiRoad Communications:

Based in Plymouth, Massachusetts, HiRoad Communications is owned by freelance copywriter Joe D’Eramo. HiRoad generates copy for web content, marketing communications materials, PR pieces, articles, blogs, social media sites and more. For more information, visit www.hiroadcommunications.com or call 617-848-0848.

 

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HiRoad a Matt Furey Affiliate

Plymouth resident Joe D’Eramo, principal of HiRoad Communications, today announced it has entered into an affiliate relationship to sell Matt Furey exercise products.

A former wrestling and martial arts champion, Matt Furey developed a line of body weight conditioning programs. In addition, he’s the best-selling author of Unbeatable Man.

As a Matt Furey affiliate, HiRoad Communications will now be reselling the following Matt Furey offerings:

“I first became a fan of Matt Furey products after my daughter was born. I didn’t have the time or money to go to a gym and needed something to try and stay in shape. Matt Furey’s Combat Conditioning DVDs taught me exercises that gave me a superior workout without using a machine, without leaving my home in about 15 minutes,” said D’Eramo, a freelance copywriter.

“In fact, I’d say I’m in better overall condition now than when I was paying more than $400 a year to work out at a gym for an hour and half every other day.”

HiRoad Communications (www.hiroadcommunications.com) provides copywriting services for a wide range of business-to-business and business-to-consumer clients. And while D’Eramo is a devotee of Furey’s exercise products, he’s also an admirer of his ability as a communicator and writer.

“One of the big things I preach as a freelance copywriter is creating a voice and holding a conversation with the reader,” said D’Eramo. “Very few writers do that as well as Matt Furey. And he does it in his distinctive style that’s been extraordinarily effective.”

In addition to writing content for ads, articles, brochures, direct mail, newsletters, press releases, sites, and other collateral materials, HiRoad Communications recently published Why Nobody Reads Your Newsletter…And How To Fix It. This free troubleshooting guide stresses the importance of small businesses seeing their newsletter through the eyes of their target audience.

For more information on HiRoad Communications or to download a free copy of Why Nobody Reads Your Newsletter…And How To Fix It, go to www.hiroadcommunications.com. To discuss potential writing projects, you can e-mail info@hiroadcommunications.com or call 617-848-0848.