April 20, 2012 by admin

Stepfather doesn’t always know best. Mistakes stepfathers can avoid for a smooth transition to blended family.

25 Ways to go from Stepfather to StepDad — Now on sale at Amazon.com. Click on the book cover to read more.

PLYMOUTH, MA…

Blended families have become more and more the norm. With that, many men take on the mantle of “stepfather” merely by saying “I do”—a daunting task if you have your own children, even more so if it means becoming an instant parent. While there’s an initial honeymoon period for blended families, there are traps new stepfathers can avoid to keep the family that is blended, splendid.

“I was 40 when I first got married. I had a pretty close relationship with my six nieces and nephews and got on extremely well with my now wife’s two kids, but getting married was a whole new ballgame,” said Joe D’Eramo, author of 25 Ways to go from Stepfather to StepDad. “What stepfathers have to realize is as big of a transition as this is for them, it’s bigger for the kids. So, you have to tread gently and avoid some common traps.”

According to D’Eramo, stepfathers can make the transition smoother by following a few basic guidelines in their approach. Those include:

Get over yourself – It’s human nature for stepfathers to think “I took on the raising of somebody else’s kids” and that some sort of congratulations is in order. Get over yourself. You can’t raise children thinking they owe you a debt of gratitude for marrying their mother.
Overcompensating – It’s really not your job to make up for the shortcomings of the biological father and be “Super Dad”. You are a co-parent and have a very important role. Do what you do and don’t worry about what you think your children’s biological father should be doing.
Follow your wife’s lead on house rules – There’s enough change when a stepfather moves in. Don’t try to reinvent the rules of the house right away. If the kids go to bed at 8, then they continue to go to bed at 8. Children of divorce have enough difficulty following the rules at two homes if they visit their biological father. Don’t make them learn two sets of rules at home. Think of your wife as the CEO of rules as they apply to the children and you are her closest and trusted advisor.
Bad mouthing their father – It should go without saying, but many stepfathers fall into the trap of badmouthing and complaining about the biological father in front of the kids. Just don’t do it. While more than a few fathers drop the ball, you only tarnish how they view you by saying bad things about their father.
Do not allow the children to disrespect their father – Conversely, it’s not uncommon for your stepchildren to want to vent about their father. You can let them up to a certain degree. If it becomes disrespectful, jump in and put a stop to it. Again, they may be justified in their complaints but you still want your children to respect all grownups. Let them vent until it crosses a line.
Be a parent not a pal – Perhaps the biggest mistake a stepfather can make is trying to be a buddy instead of a parent. Letting them stay up late, playing video games, letting them eat junk food and other things of that ilk may earn you a pall for the night. It won’t help when you’re trying to get them to take out the trash or do their homework. Children of divorce may not like it, but they crave structure. That’s something a parent does, not a buddy. Remember, they won’t say it, but they are counting on you for that structure.

Plymouth, Mass.-resident and step-parent of two Joe D’Eramo recently published a new e-book, 25 Ways to go from Stepfather to StepDad, to offers some helpful suggestions for soon-to-be or newly married men who are becoming husbands and fathers for the first time.

“When it comes to parenting, there really are no experts and all we have to go on is our experiences,” said D’Eramo, “What stepfathers need to remember that you, your wife and your stepchildren are all in this thing together. None of you have done it before. So don’t be afraid to talk as a family and ask for help. It’s amazing how many of those conversations have kept situations from escalating and further developed the relationships in the family.”

25 Ways to go from Stepfather to StepDad sells for $9.95 on Amazon as a Kindle book (Kindle also offers a free app that enables customers to read e-books on their PC). You can read more about the book and tips for stepfathers on the 25 Ways to go from Stepfather to StepDad Facebook page, http://www.facebook.com/mystepdad.

About HiRoad Communications:

Based in Plymouth, Massachusetts, HiRoad Communications is owned by freelance copywriter Joe D’Eramo. HiRoad generates copy for web content, marketing communications materials, PR pieces, articles, blogs, social media sites and more. For more information, visit www.hiroadcommunications.com or call 617-848-0848.

March 15, 2012 by admin

My new e-book, 25 Ways to go from Stepfather to StepDad

Here’s the press release announcing my new e-book, 25 Ways to go from Stepfather to StepDad:

StepDad knows best. Plymouth, MA resident Joe D’Eramo authors “25 Ways to go from Stepfather to StepDad”.

DATELINE: PLYMOUTH, MA…

With blended families becoming more and more the norm, saying “I do” for many single men means becoming a husband and a father as well. Instantly. Plymouth, Mass.-resident and step-parent of two Joe D’Eramo recently published a new e-book, 25 Ways to go from Stepfather to StepDad, to offers some helpful suggestions for soon-to-be or newly married men who are becoming husbands and fathers for the first time.

“I was 40 when I first got married. I had a pretty close relationship with my six nieces and nephews and got on extremely well with my now wife’s two kids, getting married was a whole new ballgame,” said D’Eramo, a freelance copywriter. “The book talks about some of the things I did to smooth that transition, some of the things I wish I’d done, and some of the things I still work at.”

25 Ways to go from Stepfather to StepDad sells for $9.95 on Amazon as a Kindle book (Kindle also offers a free app that enables customers to read e-books on their PC).

Some of the topics and chapters in 25 Ways to go from Stepfather to StepDad include:

Following your spouse’s parenting lead.
Dealing with her ex.
“No, I’m his step…”
“Dad’s Day”
“Grandma/Grandpa? Nana/Papa? Sir or Ma’am?”
“It’s your turn, Coach.”
“StepDad! Pick up!”
“Respect all the parents”
“In-laws as allies”
“Hers and ours…Starting your own family”

All of the material covered in the book is based on D’Eramo’s experiences helping to raise his two stepchildren, a task that took on another dimension with the birth of his daughter nearly six years ago.

“She’s just about the age when I met our son. It’s been kind of nice to see the movie from the beginning with this child, but it’s given me an entire new perspective on how my wife raised the older two as a single parent,” said D’Eramo. “With this book, I wanted to let other soon-to-be stepfather or current ones know you are not alone.”

Adds D’Eramo, “Not that I’ve mastered the art of parenting. Far from it. I don’t have a Ph.D. in anything. I’m a just a regular guy who embraced the challenge of being a stepfather and was rewarded with the most fulfilling experience of my life.”

In addition to 25 Ways to go from Stepfather to StepDad, D’Eramo, a Framingham State University graduate, also penned Recipes for the Roommate-Impaired, available on Amazon.com as a paperback.

Visit the 25 Ways to go from Stepfather to StepDad Facebook page, https://www.facebook.com/pages/25-Ways-to-go-from-Stepfather-to-StepDad/262404817174765, for more information.

About HiRoad Communications:

February 10, 2012 by admin

Five things that worked for me in 2011

Happy new year, everybody. Clearly one New Year’s resolution of mine wasn’t to get out the first edition of Changing Lanes in a timely fashion. Still, let the record show this edition came out in January 2012.

One of my “traditions” before setting my goals for the coming year is to review what’s worked in the previous. Those things can be tools for business or things that helped me do business better. Here’s the top five of things that worked well for me last year:

Constant Contact – Social Media

It may seem like a trivial add-on to an already great service. Yet being able to share your e-newsletter to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn and other social media serves a great purpose if you’re trying to be consistent with your social media efforts. Even better, you don’t need to take a class on how to do it. Just check a few boxes and it’s pretty self-explanatory.

Matt Furey’s Combat Conditioning

I’ve been using Matt Furey’s Combat Conditioning program for six years and enjoyed the incredible workout these bodyweight exercises provided in a short period of time. One in particular, Hindu Squats, I’ve found to be a tremendous cure for writer’s block.

While a lot of people find a trip to the gym or a run a great way to alleviate writer’s block, it can take a lot of time. A set of 100 Hindu Squats can take three or four minutes. You’re probably breathing a lot harder than a run or 30 minutes on the treadmill and you can do them right at your desk.

Matt Furey – Carpal Tunnel Fix

Last year, hitting a punching bag was my version of stress relief. Unfortunately, it caused a little bit of elbow tendonitis, otherwise known as ‘tennis elbow’. Upon shaking the hand of a 110-lb graphic designer and feeling pain, I knew it was time to seek some help but did not feel like dealing with multiple trips to physical therapy, co-pays, deductibles and all that. I ordered Matt Furey’s Carpal Tunnel Fix program. Within a few days, the pain had subsided dramatically. Within a week, it was gone.

IrfanView

If something works for me, I stick with it. That’s why I kept the same printer-scanner-copier for the past nine years. It worked fine and I saw no reason to switch. Well, almost no reason. When I bought the new computer with Vista, the photo editing software that came with the printer was not working well. Or, at all. That’s when I discovered IrfanView. It enabled me to edit size, crop, change resolution and a bunch of other stuff. And it was free. ’nuff said.

Paint

Not the kind you put on walls. The Microsoft software that’s part of the Accessories suite. Usually thought of as kind of a throwaway/add-on, it has actually come in quite handy in my attempt to save my printer. In fact, it’s the program I use to scan documents. It sure beats buying a new printer.

That’s what worked for me last year. Stay tuned for next month’s Changing Lanes, which should appear before February 31.